Over the years, I’m finding I’m less inclined to make resolutions for the New Year. I think it’s in part because I’m a bit of a slacker, and I loathe failure. Heh.
It’s also because since my birthday is about a month before the ball drops, and I’ve already been thinking about my New Year from a personal standpoint, it feels like more of the same. I’m inside my head a lot at this time of year.
All I really want it to be happy with myself. What I need to do is give myself a break more of the time. I’m pretty good at giving myself an ass-kicking about things I didn’t get done, didn’t finish, didn’t perfect. That kind of shit has got to stop. The older I get, the more bullshit I pare away… this is good. I’d like to do even more of that.
If I had a full list of things, it would probably include things like eating more, resting more… putting myself on the list more. I should take time to care for myself more actively, lest I should become depleted and render myself useless to everyone else. To my family that needs me. To my own naturally happy self. Enjoy the good times to the fullest. When the bad times arise, it serves me well to remember that things could always be worse. Way worse.
I must try harder to get out of my own fucking way about things though, so I can fully realise my own excellence. I’m waaaay too good at self-sabbotage. Perhaps it is better to think carefully on why it is I do this so readily… maybe tomorrow.
The house may not always be as clean or tidy as I wish it to be (goddamned slacker faeries!!) but at least I have a house. I have a roof over my head, which is more than many people on this earth can say. I don’t always want to make the meals, but there is food in the cupboards, and I have talent to turn out good things to eat. My kids make me super ape-shit nuts sometimes, but they’re healthy and growing well. They are melty, and this thrills me. I have the love and friendship of one of the best men I’ve ever met. Lucky, lucky me.
So, if there’s something you want to do, just do it. Be brave. Be bold. Just do it.
And still, no matter what a person resolves to do for the coming year, the most important thing is to find kindness in one’s heart. Kindness is good for everyone. The bigger that muscle is, the more love it can hold. More love = more happiness. I swear this to be true. It just is.
Go forth and spread your personal magic, whatever your talent is. Do you best to enjoy your life. It’s the only crack we get at it, so live it well. Be good. Be kind. Have fun. Don’t forget to check out the funky blue moon tonight – I think it must be a good omen.
Happy New Year, people!! I kiss you all. With tongue.
(And dudes, PLEASE be safe if you’re out on the town – there’s certain to be plenty of drinking assholes behind the wheel on the roads tonight… I don’t want to lose a single one of you.)
NOTE: If I had a list, giving up the love of the cigarettes would probably be on it as well, but I’m not quite ready, and I don’t want to talk about it, thanks.
G.G.
