I love makeup. Specifically, MAC makeup… that finely milled stuff is absolutely necessary in my life. It helps me look alive! and fresh! which is a miracle in and of itself when one considers how little sleep I get. I won’t even fetch the newspaper from the front porch without filling in my eyebrows first.
I was out on the street once, in front of my house, chatting with a couple of neighbour ladies about something that required immediate attention… I forget what it was now, but it was early enough in the morning that I had no makeup on, and was trying not to feel self-conscious about it… anyway, one of my neighbour ladies was staring at me pretty hard, and then finally came out with, “Are you okay? You look different… are you sick or something?” That was about seven years ago. I never, ever leave the house without at least a smidge of makeup on now. I don’t care what’s on fire.
The problem isn’t putting on the makeup – I actually like the subtle transformation, from natural face to “refreshed” with pretty powders and black eyeliner. I’ve been doing it for so many years, I could almost apply it in my sleep. It takes less than two minutes to make myself “presentable.” I love this. What I hate is taking it off at night.
By the time the the evening has rolled around, and the dishwasher has been loaded, counters wiped down, the last of the laundry folded, the endless array of books and plastic kiddie toys have been chucked into the armoire, the last thing I feel like doing is washing my face. I can’t be bothered. I’m too tired.
In the morning, I swear to god, I look like a baby.
I try to tell myself it doesn’t take that long, and that it’s better for my skin, and that this short act will preserve the life of my blessed white sheets and pillowcases, but rather than choosing soaps and lotions, I reach under the bathroom sink for my makeup removal wipes, ‘coz I’m all lazy like that.
After having kids in the house for these past several years, I’ve become accustomed to using baby wipes for a myriad of applications. Of course they’re good for wiping off poopy bums and sticky hands, but they can also be used to wipe runny noses, dimpled, dirty faces, counter tops and floors tacky from spilled apple juice, they dust shoes pretty well too, and I think I saw my husband wash the car with some once… So while in the appropriate aisle in the pharmacy one day, I spied the facial wipes section, and chose the generic house brand, vowing that I would only use them for travel, or in a serious pinch. Naturally, I use them every day now.
I wish I could keep them in a chaffing dish or warmer-contraption though. They’re chilly on the face, late at night – more befitting of a morning slap in the face than of a soothing nighttime regime, but I’m determined to save the sheets. And I know all that makeup can’t be good for my poor, widening pores either. Still, I figure if I’m ruining my skin, I can save myself with MORE MAKEUP.
They smell okay – clean, fresh scent (meaning they do not smell like ass) and they claim to have toner in them too. I feel clean enough for bed, and I don’t get that dry, constricted feeling I usually get after washing my face if I don’t use a lotion. Wonderful.
My husband on the other hand, has more facial product than any man should ever have. It’s crazy.
When I do wash my face “properly” I’m about as simple as a person can get about it. Dove soap quickly lathered on my face, (sometimes twice) followed by Nivea Q10 Advance Wrinkle Reducer face cream. I have pretty abusable normal skin, and I’ve been using Dove soap since birth, as it has never failed me. I started using the Nivea lotion several years ago – it’s light on my face and doesn’t feel greasy, which doesn’t mess with my makeup application. It’s completely affordable, and I can find it in any drugstore. For me, it is the perfect stuff.
If I really need extra care, I use some run-of-the-mill apricot facial scrub, and then slather on a fantastic facial mask called Drink Up by Origins – my sister turned me onto it about a year ago, and I completely love it. You’re supposed to leave it on for about ten minutes, but I’ve been known to walk around with it on for hours. Sometimes I just wipe it off with a Kleenex and go to bed. In the morning, I swear to god, I look like a baby.
My husband on the other hand, has more facial product than any man should ever have. It’s crazy. (That’s all his stuff, pictured above.) He orders his stuff from an online company called Paula’s Choice, and has been loving the stuff for years now. He has sensitive skin, so he’s far more girly careful about his regime than I am. He has a bunch of regular face cleansers for everyday care, and lotion for immediate application – standard stuff. But he also has about eighteen other mystery products like skin balancing toner, moisture gels, blemish fighting solutions, under-eye gels, mud masks, clay masks, skin balancing daily mattifying lotion, super antioxidant mattifying concentrate, beta hydroxy acid gels (in one AND two per cent strengths), cell-communicating something or other, and the list goes on.
I encourage him to use whatever he likes to make himself beautiful, but I had to draw the line at the hairband he used to use while masking. Fey does not describe the scene I used to endure when he applied his goop in the evenings. I can actually watch him wander about the house without giggling now. The children don’t even look at daddy sideways when his face is green. He looks like The Incredible Hulk, only more gorgeous, and with fewer muscles. And no hairband.
I’m not joking when I tell you that it resembles a shop under our bathroom sink. I can’t be bothered to try all his crap – too much invested time for me. He loves washing his face. I believe he lives for it. He washes his face the moment he arrives home from work, and then again before retiring for the night, often with a face mask in between. He makes me tired just watching him… so tired in fact, that I just reach for my box of wipes, toss the dirty thing in the trash, and go directly to bed.
Fresh magic-making makeup awaits on the morning.
Gotta love being a girl.
G.G.
The winner of my first giveaway is… “jillmyrick”!
Thanks again everyone for your comments and insights. It’s been a very interesting discussion. Feel free to contact me with feedback or ideas!
grumblegirl [at] grumblegirl [dot] com
jillmyrick, I’ll be in touch tomorrow to arrange the order from Paula’s Choice!
